Well, first things first, it turns out that J and I are still horrible influences on each other health-wise. Oh man. We’ve been pretty active in the time he’s been home – mostly because we’ve jam-packed his R&R with anything and everything I could imagine. But food and actual exercise? Eek. So once he leaves, I have my work cut out for me.
And let’s talk about that for a minute. So I had these big plans to eat sensibly and exercise. I was absolutely sure that I could do that and lose weight. I knew it would be slowly, but I thought I could definitely lose weight. Well, it’s been months, and no. It’s not happening. I have been able to maintain though, and that is HUGE. (Well, I haven’t been doing so well since J has been home. But before that.) To be totally honest, I haven’t eaten perfectly cleanly for any length of time. I made a pact with myself to not eat out for a month. I think I lasted 2 days. Oops.
I’ve gone back and forth with myself. Would I be okay with my current body if the skin was just addressed? I want so badly to scream YES! But I know deep in my heart that the big fat answer is NO. I don’t feel good at this size. I just don’t. I don’t feel like me if that makes sense. It’s not that I don’t feel beautiful, because I do. I just don’t feel like my mind fits my body. So basically, I have a lot of work to do. I don’t have a plan yet. I know I need to get back to consistent exercise. But that is not where I really need to dedicate myself. If I know anything, it’s that exercise does not equal weight loss for me. It never has. It does equal health though and it equals toning and muscle. So exercise is important. But this 30ish pounds is going to come off with a change in my diet. I have to figure it out.
I definitely don’t want to severely restrict my calories. I found out the hard way that severe restriction combined with heavy exercise (cardio & weights) results in some serious lightheadedness for me. I do not want to repeat that experience again from 2 years ago. But I do know that I have to do something different and I’m not yet sure what that something is. First step – stop eating out! That is almost always my downfall. But I have a lot more work to do to figure this out. I really want to get my body ready to go for surgery. I have just over 3 months until my hopeful surgery date. But anyway, I’ll figure it out. And that’s not the point of this post. (And I’m also a damn broken record with this crap and yes, it annoys me as much as it likely annoys you.)
So when I had my surgery consultation a few weeks ago, I got quotes for my thigh lift, extended tummy tuck, and breast lift. I had decided that I was not interested in an arm lift because I feared the armpit-to-elbow scar would bother me too much. But at the appointment, I learned that I was a good candidate for the modified arm lift that would only include a small crescent shaped scar near my armpit. For some reason, I forgot to ask for a quote that included that.
Well, after thinking about it all, it makes the most sense to me to get it all done and over with over the course of a few months. So I emailed the office and requested quotes for the arm lift – alone and combined with the breast lift. So here are my new numbers…
For everything, it’s around $26,700 – regardless of how I go about it. I know that’s a crazy high number. But it doesn’t seem as shocking to me anymore because it’s been rattling around in my brain for 2 years now.
Now, I’m trying to figure out which option to take. I could do the tummy tuck & thigh lift first, and then do the breast lift & arm lift as soon as I’m healed. (Sometime AFTER 6 weeks, but could be longer than that.) But then I would need in-home help twice. My grandparents are planning to come up for the first surgery already, so I’m thinking I’ll stick with the original plan. I’ll have the tummy tuck, thigh lift and breast lift all done at once. Then I can do the arm lift within 2 months (hopefully). It is an outpatient procedure and the pain is minimal, so I think I’d be okay on my own afterward.
Am I officially crazy at this point? Yeah, maybe. But I know for sure that I’m crazy excited! And I’m still thinking August 27th. I’m hoping to get the budget and checkbook done this week so I can officially schedule!
And to address the obvious question – if my body is so far from where I want it to be, why the hell am I even entertaining the idea of surgery at this point? Valid point. Seriously. But it all goes hand in hand. I’m healthy right now. That’s not the issue. I jogged 13.1 miles just 2 weeks ago and I hiked 15 miles last week. I’ve had all of my blood levels checked and they were perfect. But this is a mind game. I started to gain weight back because of the skin. You may call B.S. on that, but I can promise you that it’s true. It’s similar to a hoarder’s mentality. Hoarders aren’t necessarily hoarders because they like to be messy. Some of them may not even be all that attached to their crap. For many, it’s more of a perfectionist problem. If they can’t keep their house perfectly clean, they just give up entirely. Small piles become big piles and before they know it, the situation is out of control. Does that make sense?
That sort of happened to me. I worked my ass off (literally!) and my body still did not resemble a normal and healthy 30 year old’s body. So I started to give into old habits here and there. I didn’t give up and forget everything. I still make many good choices and our lives are still vastly different than they were 3 years ago. But for some reason, my body can gain weight like a pro. And it gains it quickly.
Now let’s add to that a little thing called procrastination. I’m good under pressure and I know it. I have known that I wanted to lose 25ish pounds, but I like to wait until the last damn minute to do everything! Why would this be different? It’s not. That’s dumb and I know it. I have no good excuse, so this is just the truth. I’m hoping that I will finally get my ass in gear with 3 months left and do what I need/want to do.
We’ll see what happens. You guys know I’ll report every bit of progress (or lack thereof) along the way. Thanks for always supporting me!