Quick blog tonight. I’m tired and I have fingers and toes crossed that I’ll be able to sleep.
After I vented last night, I actually felt a ton better. I guess I just needed to get it out there. I’m starting to look (again) and the parts of my body that are doing well. And after taking my Aleve, I can move pretty well actually. So thanks for letting me get it all out there so I could move on. I’m still crazy emotional, but it really swings both ways.
I fell asleep at 2:30am last night – so that’s an improvement! I realized late last night that Audra’s Girl Scout meeting was at 11am and not 1pm like I thought. Glad I double checked. That would have sucked. So we all got up at 8:30am, ate breakfast, showered (yes, finally – I was so gross), and got dressed. And I even shaved my calves – win!
By the way – I love babies. They are cute and cuddly and smell amazing. But I am in double love with my kids as they grow older. Two of them showered in the time it took me to get through mine and all I had to do was lay out clothes for the boys. Audra picks out her own outfits. Obviously. She’s 8 going on 18.
Her meeting was uneventful. I mostly hung in the library and read my book. There was no official bridging ceremony. She just received a few patches and her Brownie pin. I’m hoping I’ll find her a good troop in Hawaii!
We came back to the house and I threw together lunch. Then I changed into a t-shirt and J’s Navy sweatpants (which feel really weird on my legs but I needed a break from all the dresses), threw a load of laundry into the washer (finally – my disgusting sleeping bra is getting a bath), and fell into the recliner.
I decided to channel my Autumn 2012 self. I found season 3 of Pretty Little Liars on Netflix, opened my iPad to play some Candy Crush, and totally vegged out. When J left last year? I could sit around for hours doing absolutely nothing productive. And now that I really need to do that for my body, I’m rebelling. Well dammit, I can get back there. Temporarily of course. So I had a nice afternoon of doing nothing.
And then I came back to my bedroom and took a little nap. It only lasted an hour, but it was needed. I had it in my head that I shouldn’t nap because it would make it more difficult to sleep at night. But that little plan doesn’t seem to be working, so I need to get my sleep in sometime!
I woke up to my two youngest littles staring at me. They had come in to give me kisses. Then we launched into a big talk about booboos and blood circulation. It was a good time. I also took advantage of the talk to remind them why I had the surgery. I feel pretty confident that they get it. It’s so important that they understand that I was beautiful before the surgery. And Daddy loved me just the same before and after. I was made perfectly the way I was meant to be. But I made some unhealthy choices that hurt my body and now I just want to get it back to how it was supposed to look in the first place. They even rubbed their fingers over my stretch marks. I explained that I loved those marks because they reminded me of being pregnant with them.
I think they get it. I really do. But we’ll probably have this talk 5 or 32 more times just to be sure.
I made spaghetti tonight. And my dog Astro has been acting really weird. He stopped eating his dog food and now he’s puking daily (no blood). He’s shaking & acting restless, he isn’t playing with our other dog and he won’t cuddle at night. But…he will eat people food like a beast. So I talked to my stepmom Roz (whose dad is a veterinarian) and she thinks it could be anxiety issues. (J coming home, surgery, upheaval in the house because we’re moving, etc.) And now that he’s been eating so little for so many days, he’s starting to suffer the effects from that. Anyway, she suggested I throw together some cooked hamburger, rice, broth and a teeny bit of sugar. So that’s why I made the spaghetti. He got half of our meat.
Well I’m happy to report that he ate that food with no problem and he hasn’t been shaking at all tonight. And he’s been totally up my ass since dinner so we’ll see if he wants to cuddle in bed tonight. Unfortunately, I don’t have enough beef or rice left to make it past tomorrow so I may have to suck it up and hit the grocery store. Eek. I’m also going to try a new dog food as well. He hasn’t liked this stuff (Iams Mini Chunks) and has been picking at it for months. But now he just pretty much refuses to eat it. We’ll see. Although I hate the idea of him having anxiety issues, it’s much better than some of the alternatives.
And now I just cringe to think how he would have done in Hawaii’s quarantine for two months. I’m still going to miss them madly, but I know they’ll be well taken care of at my mom & Roz’s house until they fly down in January.
So now it’s bedtime. I just got a check-in call from my grandma. I love chatting with her. I’ve flossed and brushed my teeth, removed my contacts, peed, and I’m ready to get like 12 hours of sleep. Please please please please please.
Recovery day 14 – in the bag! FYI – I plan on taking updated pics again at the one month mark. 😉