Today has been a rough day. First, I requested prayers last night for my mom & Roz’s puppy Riley. Unfortunately, he didn’t make it through surgery. His belly was filled with blood and Roz made the decision to let him go. He had eaten a battery and they thought it was passing through his system. But it hadn’t.
My two dogs are going to stay with them for 3.5 months until they can enter Hawaii (per the state’s rules). I was a bit concerned that it would make things harder for them. They have now lost 2 dogs in three months. (The other was old and her quality of life was not good.) But thankfully both my mom & Roz feel like it will be good for them and their remaining pup Scooter.
It was harder than it probably would have been for me last night because my dog Astro has been having so many issues lately. It makes sense that I would automatically freak out and think the same will happen to him. But I’m happy to report that he’s been doing much better the last few days. Today he was his normal self and he’s eating again. No puke at all today. Major win.
So J flew in around midnight last night. I told the kids as we were leaving and there were squeals of excitement. “We get extra time with Daddy!!” But then they wondered if it meant he was leaving early. But nope and yay.
We watched Sons of Anarchy and Breaking Bad and then we went to sleep around 3am. I woke at 5am but then slept until 8am. I was so frustrated because 5 hours is just not enough. Thankfully, J encouraged me to try to fall back asleep and I was able to stay asleep until 10:30. Soooo exciting.
But then I rolled over and realized that I was hurting. A lot. And the pain caused a huge wave of nausea to roll over me. Something wasn’t right. I had taken Aleve at 8:30 so I figured once I worked out the stiffness, I’d be okay. But no. This was a new pain in addition to the stiffness. And it was awful. So awful it reduced me to tears. Lots and lots of tears. It felt like someone was burning my hips with a lighter. That’s the only way I can think to describe it. In all this time, I don’t really remember having any hip pain. But this was horrific. And normally, if I lay in bed or sit in my recliner, I can get comfortable without being in too much pain.
But today, the pain only intensified. God, I cried so much. Poor J. I’m so thankful he was there, but it’s so difficult to see someone you love in pain. He texted his dad and I messaged my friend Meghan (an RN) and both suggested that it might be nerve pain. So I called my surgeon’s office and the nurse said the same thing. She spoke with my doctor and they prescribed me Neurontin. I also talked to them about how the Aleve seems to be losing it’s effectiveness. She said I could try Tylenol instead. So even though it had only been 4 hours since taking the Aleve, I popped two extra strength Tylenol.
It helped some – but it was probably mostly in my head. The burning pain remained. J’s parents came by because J wanted to go look at a motorcycle. Thankfully, his mom stayed with me while J and his dad went off to the dealership. She was so sweet and did my dishes for me. I just sat and cried. Then my stepmom texted to check in on a few things about my dad’s party tomorrow. Luckily, she was headed in my direction, so she offered to stop and grab my prescription.
So I took the Neurontin around 3pm. And then Nicole became stupid Nicole. You know, the one that slurs and can’t remember words. Fantastic. But hey – the hip pain dissipated and for that I’m so grateful. But I’ve basically been stuck in my recliner all day. I’m still in a good amount of regular pain. I basically feel like I’ve started over on recovery. I know that’s not true, but it’s been a really hard day. I have so much I needed to do today and I hate relying on others to do them for me. So then I would cry about that. A lot. I really really really don’t like the Nicole that slurs. It’s weird because I can sit and type just fine. I’m not my normal witty self, but I can at least put together thoughtful sentences. But when I talk outloud, I just talk really slowly and stumble over my words.
Anyway, J found a bike. And it’s gorgeous. It’s a Honda Shadow 750, and J looks like a sexy beast on it. He got a great helmet as well with a shield and sunglasses. I won’t be joining him for any rides for a while, but I’m so happy for him. (And yes, it also scares the piss out of me simultaneously.)
I’m so grateful that his dad was there to help him pick something. And his mom’s presence today was needed and appreciated. I just needed someone to be here with me and baby me.